Why Working on Interoception Is a Neuro-Affirming Parenting Approach

Photo by Jeremiah Lawrence on Unsplash

One of the most positive outcomes of the growing cultural shift towards understanding and acceptance of neurodivergence is the increasing number of parents striving to be neuro-affirming. Yet it can be challenging to understand exactly how to do this—especially when our own neurotype or experiences might differ from those of our children.

Being neuro-affirming means fully accepting and honoring our kids exactly as they are. It means seeing behaviors as forms of communication rather than deliberate choices to be difficult. Most importantly, it involves consistently looking beneath behaviors to uncover their root causes.

As a parent and coach, I often encounter challenging behaviors that typical parenting tools simply don’t resolve. When a child struggles to meet an expectation or respect a boundary, it's our responsibility as parents to ask, “Why?” If we believe that dysregulation, lagging skills, sensory processing challenges, and similar issues are not deliberate choices but part of who our kids fundamentally are, then simply setting limits won't address the underlying challenges.

Some common issues I see both in my own child and among families I support include:

• Sibling conflict

• Emotional regulation

• Self-regulation

• Self-advocacy

• Perspective-taking
  

These struggles frequently stem from difficulties in recognizing and interpreting their internal sensations and emotions—also known as atypical interoception. Approaching these challenges with behavior charts, rewards, or social skills classes alone won't work as this foundational piece - interoception - is missing. Instead, by explicitly working on enhancing our children's interoceptive awareness—helping them tune into and understand their own bodily sensations—we honor their unique brains and nervous systems.

Building interoceptive skills empowers children to self-regulate and self-advocate more effectively. These skills are essential for thriving as neurodivergent individuals in our world. Emphasizing interoception is a profoundly neuro-affirming approach, validating and supporting the individual needs of our children in ways that deeply respect who they truly are.